silly morning blues

as i sit outside in the sun, enjoying its rays and warmth upon my skin the lonelyness creeps up and without me even being aware takes its place. instead of warmth that tingles me it is the tinggiling sensation of feeling unbelonged :) if thats even a word. i was reading Catherine Called Birdy. a quite comical introduction into the 1290's???? not a year we often talk about, well atleast not me. and as i am sitting, reading, and admiring this young girl, it strikes me that still we live in the age of the 1290's!!!! how is this you might ask? well we are all still stuck in our own ways, still confused, segrigated, and lonely. we all are still searching for love just like this 13 year old  daughter of a country knight. her fight for freedom is as entertaining as everyday life inside my head, possibly inside your as well. she simply wants to choose what and who makes her happy instead of it being forced upon her. how entertaing it was to read of her tantroms, she threw her neddle point to the pigs, and went off to enjoy a hanging, which then in turn scarred the bajesus out of her and she went home sobbing to her nurse maid, and then in the midst of all was scolded for the pig pen inciddent. i find this a rather commical inturpitation of everyday life. oh how i seem to get fed up, so i throw things away and then go to something "shady" :) for a change of pace and find myself back where i started, mifed and confuzzeled!!!!!